Hearing Aid

I sat in Starbucks for a meeting recently. I love the smell of coffee. Coffee shops usually have plenty of places to sit, and yet there is no expectation of true privacy.
I was sitting across from a guy who was testing the boundaries. My boundaries.
And then, there it was: the offer.

Neatly wrapped in packaging that looked like "isn't this pretty, it's all for you" while buried tightly inside was the real bomb "this is my agenda and I am going to get you to give me what I want."
I have learned to detect these offers.

It was an offer to take something of mine.

I politely explained that it belonged to me, that it wasn't something I could get rid of and that his idea of me just giving it to him wasn't something I wanted to do.

So, he began to tell me how giving it to him would benefit me (which actually wasn't true, but those soft sell words can be so lovely to hear). And he went into great detail. I listened. But in the end I simply said "That's just not going to work."

He shifted slightly in his chair and tried again from a different angle. He stated that everyone would benefit if I would give it up, let him have it. That I would be contributing to the universe. That, in the words of Rick Warren, "it's not about me". And I should recognize the bigger picture.
To which I replied, "That's not going to work."

He leaned in, smiled and lowered his voice and restated his idea. Perfect eye contact. Open body language. The lure of sweet words indicating that he would be willing to take it today or tomorrow, whichever would work best for me. He was, after all, looking out for what was in my best interest, he said.

He was about mid way through his next sentence on action steps toward the greater good of mankind when I suddenly leaned forward and exclaimed excitedly, "Oh, I have something for you." He paused at my interruption.

I cheerfully reached down into my bag and pulled out...
... a Q-tip.

I gracefully handed it to him across the table.

He looked at the Q-tip. He looked at me. He looked puzzled.

"You seem to be having trouble hearing me," I said, "This might help."

There was a slight pause before he begrudgingly placed the Q-tip down on the table and muttered something under his breath. I mustered up my best Buddy-the-Elf impression and quietly said, "I like to whisper too!"

The grin on my face must have reflected my newly acquired sassy, empowered feeling. This was someone I had cowered to in the past. We were in new territory.
I exhaled. I smiled.

And he now has the proper tool to use when he can't believe his ears.