These shoes were made for walking!

I remember the shoes I was wearing the day my friend came into my office and said, with an excited smile on her face, "I've been offered a new job. I'm leaving."

They were black patent leather pumps I'd paid entirely too much for. But my friend had told me they looked fabulous and I hadn't stood that tall in years. She was smart, funny and brought a lightness to an otherwise overwhelming and competitive work environment.

"Are you kidding?" I grumbly replied, dismay written all over my face.
I couldn't quite muster the congrats she was hoping for.

We worked for a law firm in LA. She had just been offered a job with in-house counsel at Princess Cruises. "I won't be that far away, just two buildings over." Given that my office was on the 40th floor and hers was on the 41st, I had discovered that any information that had to be shared immediately took entirely too long to communicate in person, given the inability of the elevators to ever be available when I needed them. This was one floor. Now we're talking down the block.

I suddenly felt abandoned. Who would I laugh with when a new associate blundered his way through an assignment? Who would guide me through shoe racks to find the perfect pair? I decided to take the afternoon off and go sit at the Bodhi Tree and sip tea. Life always slowed down at the new age bookstore on Melrose and I wanted to digest this ache in my stomach...


God has been tapping me on the shoulder lately.
Sometimes he has to use a frying pan, but for now he is tapping.
I think what He is saying is,

"Your destiny is not tied to the people who walk away from you."

I pause, wishing Melrose was not so far from Bend.

The plain truth: people leave.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes it does.

All of us will have people that step out of our lives. They may not be bad people. We may like them. Or love them. We may not understand why...but their purpose in our life, the purpose of the relationship is over.

And when that person steps away, whether it's a friend, co-worker, spouse or business partner, you can choose to hang on or to let go.

I am learning that it is harder, but better, to let go.

Because when someone decides to move on, there is no amount of glue that is going to hold him to you.

I often think, "But I need that person in my life." "I depend on that person." "I don't want this to become different."

There is the chance that gracefully letting that person move in a different direction will actually enhance the relationship, but it will change nonetheless.

And when you give someone permission to walk their own journey, rather than trying to keep them in yours, you give yourself permission to walk away from others on your journey. For whatever reason. At any time.


...as I sipped my tea at the Bodhi Tree that day, I understood my choice. I could sit there, in my designer shoes, wishing it to be different or I could open the window and see how much sunshine would come in.

Family or friends or co-workers who lack similar values, are abusive or hold you back from your dreams, may be the person who pushes you into the opportunity to take a step through a new door to get closer to your potential. It's been said that what you tolerate you will never change. If you accept mediocrity, that's what you will get. I don't want to be mediocre. I want to be excellent.

As it turns out, after she left the law firm I actually saw her more often. It was no longer a co-worker relationship but a friendship. And shortly after that, I had the opportunity to step away from my friends and co-workers to fulfill my dream of attending graduate school 3,000 miles away. One of the best decisions I ever made. And some of the hardest people to walk away from.
I suddenly don't feel the tapping.
Maybe I've understood a part of the lesson: when you choose to step away or let go, and let a relationship change, you will be stepping closer to your destiny.
And hopefully, when that happens you'll be wearing a fabulous pair of shoes!