Girls are told alot of stuff growing up: if he punches you, he likes you or someday your prince will come or if you keep crossing your eyes they will stick like that.
Every love story we are told and every romantic movie we see implores us to reach for the dream. The perfect man. The fairytale. Dreams do come true and we can all live happily ever after.
But sometimes...we are so focused on finding our happy ending we don't see the signs. The giant red flags that stretch out before us. Seeing the ones who bring all their pain. Seeing those who are out for revenge. Reading those who want us from the ones who don't. Knowing which ones will stay and which ones will leave. Knowing who to trust from one minute to the next.
But maybe, the happy ending isn't about him. The guy. Prince Charming. Or about the dream. The fairytale.
Maybe the happy ending is about you.
On your own.
Picking up the pieces and starting over. Being delighted at seeing something better in your future.
Or maybe the happy ending is this ... that through it all, you never gave up hope. In yourself.

...and then he suddenly hands you a cup of coffee.

Rediculously long absence

I am returning after a period of contemplation, and many hours reading and watching Pride & Prejudice.
While trying to find the humor in life's hardship and realizing that most of my blunders are self induced I begin to conclude that what causes the most pain often brings the biggest blessing.

We begin a new school year. I blog with renewed intention. I open myself to the possibilities that the universe holds before me....

Progress - Day 7!

"The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred...unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Day 7 of my 90-day "re-program" program.
Focusing on getting in shape, going back to work and re-evaluating relationships.

When I began a week ago I could jog a solid 3 miles. On day six I covered 6 miles, stopping only to snap pictures of the ice I was running on. Today, legs hurt. But I am drinking more water. Progress.

A week ago I was working part-time as a clerical assistant in a dismal setting. Working weekends proved uninspiring. Especially when the sun was out. I was missing my running club training sessions on Saturday mornings. Chores at home were not getting done. The kids...well, we won't go there. So when one of the supervisors "expressed her distress in a disrespectful manner" I knew it was time to excuse myself. When you make the right decision, peace often follows. Progress.

There are a few people in my life that, when I allow it, completely drain me. After being around them I often feel hit by a steamroller. How do you step away from this? I decided to fill some of my coffee/cocktail friend-time with a new life coach. She is full of qualities I'd like to add in my life. We will see how my time gets distributed over the next few days.
AND,
there is one connection that I now realize is a relationship. Having children with someone renders a relationship for the life of the children, no matter how bad the connection is. So, in a "do what's best for the kids" decision-making moment (and carrying an airline barf bag with me...just in case) I agreed to having dinner with my ex and our kids after middle school parent/teacher conferences. It was a first. And although there were moments of nausea, the bag remained unused. Progress.

"The law of floatation was not discovered by contemplating the sinking of things, but by contemplating the floating of things which floated naturally, and then intelligently asking why they did so." -- Thomas Troward

Grammy's tonight

Electric. That's how the Black Eyed Peas describe their feeling about the Grammy's tonight.

Colin Firth has played Mr. Darcy more than once. A spirit he resonates with. He connects with "it" when he is in the role.

Robert Redford found inspiration directing A River Runs Through It. And again in The Horse Whisperer. A part of his self stepped through the lens and spoke to the hearts in the audience.

When you find your passion it is both exciting and terrifying and challenging and peaceful all at the same time.

When you know your purpose you have intention. Direction. Fulfillment. Especially through the hardships and seemingly impossible difficulties that land in your path. When you connect with what God created you to do, you feel grounded. Determined. Thrilled. Expansive, in both thought and character.

What is my passion? What is my purpose? Today, we go exploring...

On to Act II

A fire in the fireplace. Sipping warm coffee and watching the snow fall in the fog outside. There is barely a touch of morning light beyond the distant mountains and I sit with peace and quiet.

Today it begins. A 90- day "program". Or a "re-program", if you will. A new chapter built on intention. It is time.

Time to get in shape. A half marathon in March in my hometown has enticed me to train, change my eating habits and actually get to the gym (especially in the icy weather).

Time to work FullTime. I am beginning this journey as a partime clerical assistant in a job that stretches my patience. Babysteps. I am rewriting my dream job and will work with a life coach to pursue it.

Time to revamp my relationships. I am letting go of toxic people in my life and adding a mentor, a mastermind group, and a support system of good friends (beinning with one, and adding...). And I will begin to date again.

It is a new year. The old me is discovering new paths. Old, as in I am reaching into my past and reaffirming my foundation. Who I was, at my core. It is who I have always been. I hibernated for many years. My core, my dreams, my values became someone elses while mine sat on a shelf, receiving glances every few years.
I decided to dust them off, reclaim them and commit to never letting them go. I am emerging.
Thus begins Act II. Scene One. Day 1.

(off to a rather good start, I'd say!)