Progress - Day 7!

"The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred...unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Day 7 of my 90-day "re-program" program.
Focusing on getting in shape, going back to work and re-evaluating relationships.

When I began a week ago I could jog a solid 3 miles. On day six I covered 6 miles, stopping only to snap pictures of the ice I was running on. Today, legs hurt. But I am drinking more water. Progress.

A week ago I was working part-time as a clerical assistant in a dismal setting. Working weekends proved uninspiring. Especially when the sun was out. I was missing my running club training sessions on Saturday mornings. Chores at home were not getting done. The kids...well, we won't go there. So when one of the supervisors "expressed her distress in a disrespectful manner" I knew it was time to excuse myself. When you make the right decision, peace often follows. Progress.

There are a few people in my life that, when I allow it, completely drain me. After being around them I often feel hit by a steamroller. How do you step away from this? I decided to fill some of my coffee/cocktail friend-time with a new life coach. She is full of qualities I'd like to add in my life. We will see how my time gets distributed over the next few days.
AND,
there is one connection that I now realize is a relationship. Having children with someone renders a relationship for the life of the children, no matter how bad the connection is. So, in a "do what's best for the kids" decision-making moment (and carrying an airline barf bag with me...just in case) I agreed to having dinner with my ex and our kids after middle school parent/teacher conferences. It was a first. And although there were moments of nausea, the bag remained unused. Progress.

"The law of floatation was not discovered by contemplating the sinking of things, but by contemplating the floating of things which floated naturally, and then intelligently asking why they did so." -- Thomas Troward

Grammy's tonight

Electric. That's how the Black Eyed Peas describe their feeling about the Grammy's tonight.

Colin Firth has played Mr. Darcy more than once. A spirit he resonates with. He connects with "it" when he is in the role.

Robert Redford found inspiration directing A River Runs Through It. And again in The Horse Whisperer. A part of his self stepped through the lens and spoke to the hearts in the audience.

When you find your passion it is both exciting and terrifying and challenging and peaceful all at the same time.

When you know your purpose you have intention. Direction. Fulfillment. Especially through the hardships and seemingly impossible difficulties that land in your path. When you connect with what God created you to do, you feel grounded. Determined. Thrilled. Expansive, in both thought and character.

What is my passion? What is my purpose? Today, we go exploring...

On to Act II

A fire in the fireplace. Sipping warm coffee and watching the snow fall in the fog outside. There is barely a touch of morning light beyond the distant mountains and I sit with peace and quiet.

Today it begins. A 90- day "program". Or a "re-program", if you will. A new chapter built on intention. It is time.

Time to get in shape. A half marathon in March in my hometown has enticed me to train, change my eating habits and actually get to the gym (especially in the icy weather).

Time to work FullTime. I am beginning this journey as a partime clerical assistant in a job that stretches my patience. Babysteps. I am rewriting my dream job and will work with a life coach to pursue it.

Time to revamp my relationships. I am letting go of toxic people in my life and adding a mentor, a mastermind group, and a support system of good friends (beinning with one, and adding...). And I will begin to date again.

It is a new year. The old me is discovering new paths. Old, as in I am reaching into my past and reaffirming my foundation. Who I was, at my core. It is who I have always been. I hibernated for many years. My core, my dreams, my values became someone elses while mine sat on a shelf, receiving glances every few years.
I decided to dust them off, reclaim them and commit to never letting them go. I am emerging.
Thus begins Act II. Scene One. Day 1.

(off to a rather good start, I'd say!)

Emerging...

I am mentally beginning to thaw after a long tough battle. Now, I am putting my feet back under me.
To stand tall.
To run the race.
To achieve more than ever before.
Not only will I survive, I will thrive beyond my dreams.
Happy New Year 2010!

Happiness has nothing to do with pleasure

God's message to me today....
(from the Facebook application)

"You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative.
Happiness is absolute.
Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect.
The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Devine forms is the degree to which you suffer."

Situational anger, disappointment, frustration, despair, etc. are then self-generated. Those emotions are not pleasurable. Lack of pleasure makes us unhappy.

Unless...we are able to view the situation in a way that makes it simply what it is in that moment: perfect.
Neutral.
Not good, not bad. Simply, what is.

It is a matter of changing our perspective. Our thoughts about something (yes, Mr. N V Peale, I did pay attention to what I read!) determine our outlook about the moment. For example, if I go outside, get in my car and it won't start, I call AAA (or someone to come help me). I am told I will have to wait 45 minutes to one hour for assistance. I think...this is bad. I will now be late to work. My boss will be angry. I will be rushing all morning. My whole day will be "off".

Or will it?

What if I shift my perspective?
When I am told I will have to wait 45 minutes, I smile, knowing that I have suddenly been blessed with time to put the dishes away and fold the last of the laundry. I can return those few calls that I need to follow up on that I wouldn't have been able to get to until after dinner. I can sit and read the newspaper while catching the end of the morning news. This is good. And on thte news I hear that there has been a road closure on my route to work due to an accident. One that, I realize, happened exactly where I would have been driving on my way to work.
Perhaps I had been protected by this otherwise-perceived-misfortune.
Oh, how thankful I am.

All a matter of perspective.

I am happy. And it has nothing to do with pleasure!

Answers...we've got 'em!

I watched as he squirmed in his seat. The young man was trying to think of the right answer. He had given the correct answer for the last five. Could he do it again?
He spoke and the crowd cheered. Right again.
How did he possibly know THAT, I wondered.

The faraway look in his eye and his clenched jaw was subtle, and it took him a minute to come back to the moment. He had remembered. Now he was smiling.

Somewhere in his past he had been given the answer. It probably seemed unimportant and random at the time. Yet, filed away and deep in his memory was the answer.
Pieces of his life, scattered for so many years, came together in that moment to make sense. To teach the lesson. Present the opportunity to understand. To provide the answer.

When our life feels like a puzzle full of random and inconsistent pieces it is just a matter of time before a truth or purpose is revealed. And if we put forth the effort, we can discover the answer.
Nothing that happens in our lives is insignificant. Everything, each detail, fulfills a purpose... provides an answer for a moment down the road.
We already have our answers.
They often lie deep inside our hearts. Our memories. Waiting to be recalled at the right moment. To give us strength. To complete a task. To remind us of who we are. To answer a game show question correctly.

So when you ask, How am I going to handle this? How am I expected to endure this situation that seems so foreign to me? How will I survive my circumstances?
Remember, you already have the answer. It lies within you. At some point in your past you have received the answer, or the gift or the talent necessary to withstand this moment.

Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz who all along had the power to return home by tapping her heels together.
So I guess the question then becomes, how do we dig into our memories/talents to discover what the answer is in the moment?
Some of us recall our childhood with precise detail. Others pull memories out of a distant fog. We all have forgottten moments and painful times we choose to ignore.
Looking at old photos, visiting places, talking with people from the past, counseling and prayer, are but a few ways people journey back to uncover answers to life's questions.

Maybe that's why it is said, God will not give you more than you can handle. The answer to the question that you have infront of you already exists inside you. Find your answer!

Destiny

"Some journeys take us far from home. Some adventures lead us to our destiny."
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe